http://throughbloodandice.tumblr.com/

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I'm pretty sure I want you dead.

EXEL EXEL EXEL

the bird will fly twice at night, knock on your window once, and if you sleep through it you'll surely be doomed.

tiny

Smokey

Soft Serve

I hold these truths to be self serving

Will you?

Please

excuse me sir

please fan my stomache ache all night long.

DON'T CHEW YOUR OWN TEETH

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HURRY UP CAUSE I'M DONE WRITING STORIES ABOUT DYING HORSES.
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If you had a pan full of pork.

If you oh if you kiss me you porky fool.

I miss my wisdom teeth sometimes. I miss t-ing off

IS A LIE

I really hate him

I have to admit I find it a little strange that my biggest childhood fear "Chucky" apparently had a girlfriend.


enjoy prom you jerks

if you wanna play a game you play mark magonni

The View

Grab yourself a quesadilla Olga baby we're going to France

Boo

http://twitter.com/hartkepsbreakin

Mind dimension

Comments, criticisms?

Doug

Doug felt self concious about his weight. He asked me people step on him in streets and buildings. We stepped on him on our way to class and while rushing to fraternitys. it soon became too much and his eyes bulged. "enough" doug said "i'm flattened" doug was now content with his weight from being walked on but a promise is a promise and we didn't stop. We stepped on his spine and kidneys ignoring is big eyes as we talked about alternative things.

Meanwhile somewhere in Sydney Australia Doug awoke screaming "ENOUGH!" What a bad dream losing weight isn't worth that. then to his surprise he has sweated so much during his nightmare he lost 140 pounds.

He then proceeded to spend his days slicking back his hair.

One day a boy woke up and realized his bra had been frozen because he betrayed his friend who wore a top hat and only drank orange juice on wednesdays.

Relevant

Droop

New hit

I decided to rename that postal service song "we will become silhouettes"
it's now
that miss sexitary song "we will become cigarettes"

And we'll become cigarettes when our bodies finally go
Ba ba ba...

I need a roommate

Tenderoni

Mr. Potato Head

Let's discuss this rationally over a nice tall glass of cottage cheese.

To Pee or not to Pee

Today my dad fell in love with a giant pawed cat.


Let me ask you something. How many times have your teeth fallen out in a dream? And just how many times has the Tooth Fairy come to your aid? Face it man she doesn't even CARE about you. To her your just some sappy gum faced bank where she desposits her ca$h, and no amount of under the pillow tooth action will ease your suffering.

Mutant Ninja Turtle Rainbow hair

If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree that means your parents are pushing you out of trees. Then ensuring that you stay close to the trunk so they don't lose track of which fleshy apple is theirs while they discuss ESPN.

IM A WOMANS MAN NO TIME TO TALK

They don't know you're here. They don't care you're here. Here I am. It's hard to hear.

A real pain sometimes just a real pain.

Marty

"Marty did you finishing eatin your pork? growing boys need pork."

"Mom I'm on the PHONE"

He was on the phone but just barely just barely hanging onto the story about some girl named tara who stole some girl named blara's banging boyfriend and now somehow some girl named clara has gotten involved. he isn't too sure which one of the "aras" he is talking to they all sound identical. They all sound like they are quoting a Kelly Clarkson song. No that isn't fair he can't judge them based on that he probably hasn't heard a clarkson song all the way through except that time on the bus. Everyone has one of those times on a bus.

"MARTY CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE what she said to me? that girl is a futureslut I swear"


He can remember someone saying Miss clarkson didn't want to lose weight. Everyone wants to lose weight. Deep down inside. Where the fat is.

"listen blatarcar I have to hang up now I need to eat this pork and get a job"

"wait what did you call me?yo that's AWKWARDDDD."

"have a crunchy munchy candy apple easy breasy kind of day" click.

Why did his old english teacher always say something about candy apples on the announcements every morning of seventh grade. What an inspiration.

Marty needed a job. Maybe he could eat pork and other canned meat for a living. People would line up around his house every day and his mom would say "marty eat your pork" and he would say "I HATE EVERYTHING YOU LIKE MOM IMA TEEN" then eat as much meat as he could and people would applaud him wink and say "man that is a lot of meat" He could even go on a meat world tour. He would see paris the meat capital of the world and from there go to germany to rebuild the berlin wall out of deli slices. One day. It's good to plan ahead with these things.

At least for that job he wouldn't have to give a urine sample like they require at Costco. Maybe he should apply there anyway. He could go in ask for an application and pee directly on it and tell them to get the manager. then once he arrived marty could ask "Have you ever seen a grown man eat 76 pounds of canned pork and chicken?" You should hire me.

but the manager looks like he knows how to eat a great amount of flesh and he probably would challenge marty to a eating competition and marty would definately lose then make up a manly excuse. "I'm hungover from all the natty ice" or stand up for himself and his hormones "At least you still need two tickets to this gun show you meat head!"

Then he would flex and say all in the days work then go home and cry because he doesn't actually work because no one hires someone who can't even finish their pork.

POW STRAIGHT TO THE MOON

I could walk straight down those stairs, kiss a kitty, and put my hands in the fridge to cool down. I could leave them in the freezer overnight and like freezing a hip teen girl's bra at a slumber party I would be so shocked in the morning to find that I had such COLD HANDS. YOU HAVE COLD HANDS. I'd just blame in on bad circulation or a ceiling fan that was out to get me.

I could also push my head through the banister and get it stuck there. My mom might get upset and tell me I should be packing up my belongings and shipping off to nam. But I would remind her that during the french revolution people got their head stuck in guillotines all the time and who am I to rewrite history by being unstuck all the time?

And she was

I like pieces of cheese and apples on crackers, wii bowling, the akira soundtrack, and never going to high school again.

oh and how could I forget! scratching peoples faces, meowing, and telling kitty she's da kitty.


bu

I won a fridge. Please excuse me I'm tired.

Reach for the stars but keep your feet on the ground

THIS IS IT! 4 years of high school and it's finally ending. she got up slowly and walked to the stage. She straightened up her cap and gown as miss riley pronounced her name perfectly by projectile vomiting all over her including in her mouth as she passed her the diploma. With a tear in her rightest eye she clutched her diploma. She moved onward to the school courtyard to do some deep future planning and pondering and she came across marty having sex with a traffic cone. He yelled out to her with a friendly wave "TAKE A PICTURE IT'LL LAST LONGER" So she did. And he was right. Years later at a cocktail party she and marty looked fondly at the old picture.

I miss.

Scram!!!! ble

Put the breast between the bread

If a zombie ever bit me I'd cover it up with a hello kitty band aid and when people pointed during class I'd say "I see you noticed my hickey ask nickey about this she knows I'm not picky when it comes to my lady friends cept you cause you're icky" then they'd never know I was sicky. They'd ask me to sign their yearbook and graduation would go according to plan. Then we would reenact chernobyl because plans never work and i never work out.

Today was a day among other days holding day old hands

I miss laquichea

c'mon baby let's go

I like lemon cake and he loves me anyway

I should get up walk downstairs and get a glass of water because I'm thirsty, I should learn to solve calculus problems that have improper integrals. I should get up improperly and poor water on the integrals because I am thirsty and I solved calculus so it owes me one.

I should stick a fork through my tongue and say I bought it at hot topic and mention that abortion always seems to be a hot topic during french class.

I should put on mittens over my hands and hide outside your house in the bushes and when you go to take the recycling out I'd jump up and yell BET YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE PAWS. and hold up my hands proudly then quickly take off the mittens because by this time my hands would be sweaty.

They just want to hold me

Easy Money

A horse is a horse of course of course

unless...

Have you ever seen a portal?

sh.